Friday, December 5, 2008

Santa, Baby...

Well, with Christmas a mere two and a half weeks away, a fact that I am reminded of daily by each kid in this house, I find my time to get things done withering down and my list of things to do growing each day!  So I thought I'd be all proactive and take care of a very important item on my "Christmas To-Do List".  No, I'm not referring to my shopping list, or wrapping the few presents I've managed to buy, or even mail out my Christmas cards.  I'm talking about my letter to Santa, of course!  I thought I'd share a few of the requests I have made for Jolly Ole' St. Nick to bring me this year.  Feel free to take any hints from this list when considering your gift to me.  (Just be sure to let Santa know so you two don't get me the same thing.  Nobody likes returning gifts, nobody.)

Dear Santa,

I have a VERY good girl this year! I have been working very hard to regularly post to the blog, and I've even kept my room clean.  Well, most of the time... I've been very nice to my little sister, even though she can be a brat sometimes, and I've somehow managed to not pulverize any of the munchkins this year.  So as you can see, I so deserve to be on the "Nice" list!  That being said I'd like to share my Christmas Wish List with you.

Thanks to my dear friend, Meghan, I have developed a liking for scarves.  I am a BIG fan of pink, and I'd like it if the Mrs. would make me one.  They keep my neck all warm and cozy, plus the munchkins like to pretend that I'm a horsey and the scarf makes a nice set of reigns!

I'd also like a new niece or nephew.  Either one would do.  I haven't had one of those in over a year now.  But don't tell my sister- she might object, and I really want one!   

Next I'd like to add that, while I love making purses and hand bags, I REALLY would like one that was made by someone known for making purses, like oh, Idunno, maybe PRADA or Louis Vuitton.  They both make such nice little bags. Oh, and while you're at it, a nice pair of Manolo Blahniks would go great with either designers.  I'm a size 8 1/2, and they don't have to be pink.  Any color would do.  Please. 

This next item is a little less materialistic.  I'd like a little peace, please.  Sure world peace would be amazing, but I know it would be a bit much to ask for the purse, the shoes, AND world peace, so I think I would just like to have some peace in general.  You know, like maybe the munchkins aren't as loud next year as they were last, or maybe they play Rock Band a little quieter, maybe you could even install little mute buttons while you are visiting them on Christmas Eve.  Whatever works best for you, but I'd really like a little more peace.  Even if for just a brief period of time, I'd appreciate it.  (Even if was for just long enough to finish this post!)

 Now here's the biggie; I know every year I ask for this same thing, but I haven't gotten it yet, so I'm asking again.  I want a husband.  Enough said.  I know it's a tall order, but not nearly as tall as word peace, so I think you can handle this one. (anyone out there reading this: I AM open to blind dates, so feel free!  Seriously.)   Also, if you bring me the hubby, then I promise to stop asking for that pony you've never brought me after all these years of asking!

I'd like to be a size 8.  That's reasonable, right?  I mean, I'm not talking super model here.  Heck, I'd even settle for a size 10.  I would just like to look like I did when I was 14, minus the frizzy blonde hair, that is.  And I'll take it anyway I can get it- lipo, a personal trainer to the stars, or maybe a body transplant.  I'm a strong supporter of plastic surgery.  (Just not the Wacko Jacko type stuff!)  

I want a housekeeper.  Someone who will pick up after me, make my bed, cook my meals and then wash the dishes, do my laundry, scrub the toilet (*blechk*!), clean the cat littler (*double blechk*!), and change the roll of toilet paper when it runs out.  Wait.  As I write this I'm reminded of a dim memory I have of a time when I actually had somebody that did all this stuff for me.  What was her name again... oh!  That's right, we called her MOM!!!!  Well, I want a housekeeper. Not another mom.  Just so we're clear.

I would like, just once, to walk into a room to a roaring applause.  Like, standing ovation, finger whistles, and WOO-WOO-WOO's applause.  I'd just like to know how that feels.  Just once.  

Just in case I don't get the husband- then I want that pony.  I think it's only fair. 

When considering my Wish list please remember that I HAVE been especially good this year.  Not counting that one little slip up.  Plus- it was never proven that it was me.  (The surveillance video was too fuzzy.  thankyouverymuch.)   In closing I'd like to add that I hope you and Mrs. Clause- along with the elves, have had a wonderful year.  Rest up and take lots of Vitamin C before the 24th, because there's been a nasty cold/virus thingy going around, and I'd hate for you to catch it!  I'll be sure to leave the usual offering of milk and cookies out, unless of course you're back on the cabbage soup diet again.  In  that case I'll leave a bowl in the microwave for you and a glass of Crystal Light.  (Man, that soup stinks!)

I love you, Santa. 


Katie said...

I think you have gone absolutely nuts! Chris and I are having a hard enough time "spacing" our children with out you and your big mouth blabbing to Santa that you want another niece or nephew! If I get pregnant in the next few weeks/months, I am holding you personally responsible and giving you the only ticket to the delivery room since I would be giving birth with out Chris this time, it would be kind of hard for him to hold my hand all the way from Iraq.
Just kidding, sorta. Maybe I could do something about the scarf though...

Noah's Mommy said...

Found you by way of Blogher...and I love your list...especially the handbag and shoes....a girl after my own heart...I hope you don't mind that i"m gonna be a follower of yours....

CatholicGirl said...

I'd love for you to follow! Lots of people read the blog, but not too many follow! It's nice to see your smiling faces looking back at me from your little boxes! God bless!